• Tommy Cicero

Valuable friends

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

- Walter Winchell


Where would we be without our friends? It really depends on what type of friends we have and how they contribute to our overall wellbeing. If you were forced to rank your friends in order of the amount of value they provide to you, where would each of them fall? It may not seem fair to rank our friends by their qualities, since qualities can be subjective, and some carry more weight than others. However, if we had to line five friend up right now, it may not be that difficult.


To clarify, I do not define valuable as having the ability to always pick up the tab or having access to the company suite for concerts and sporting events. Those are some nice perks of a friendship, but they are simply that. Perks. If that friend who always picks up the tab is never able to help out whenever you ask them for a favor, maybe they aren't being much of a friend at all. Maybe that friend who gets those great concert seats always wants to use that time to complain about how miserable their life is. I'm not saying we should not be there to comfort our friends, but there's a time and a place. It should also be reciprocal.


Photo by Pareekshith Indeever on Pexels


When I evaluate my friendships and assign some sort of arbitrary value to them, it helps me to determine who is there for me when I need some support. Who makes me feel like a worthy friend instead of just someone to call when they need something? Again, there are so many qualities to factor in, but the qualities I assign the most value are not quantifiable. I think of words like compassionate, reliable and respectful. It's great to have friends who are generous with their money, but are they generous with their time? Do they show you that they care?


Friendships come and go throughout our lives. We develop new relationships while maintaining, rekindling or severing old ones. I started focusing on the quality of my friendships over the quantity of friends I had when I was in my 20's. It was one of the best decisions I ever made. I feel fortunate and blessed to have some great friends I can rely on and who value our friendship as much as I do. It has helped to improve the overall quality of my life. Friends are important, so it's important to periodically evaluate our friendships and make sure we are getting value out of them that we deserve.



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