• Tommy Cicero

Responding with restraint

"Conflict cannot survive without your participation."

- Wayne Dyer


In a perfect world everyone would get along and agree on everything. This is not that world. We constantly face differences of opinion (and facts) at work, at home and especially online. It has become tougher to debate people on important issues when all sides are not presenting their case with supporting evidence or resources. I used to get so frustrated when people would tell me what they believe, but it was based more on feelings than facts.


The old me had no patience for ignorance or incompetence. I would argue with people who treated truth as an afterthought or only considered it relevant when it fit their narrative. In the nature vs. nurture debate, I feel they may have had a different upbringing than me, but perhaps the nature inside them is not being accessed. What causes some people to look to the future with optimism and hope while others cling to worry and despair? That's a whole new debate.



I believe we have the free will to choose how we live our life based on everything our five senses have absorbed since birth. We respond to our circumstances accordingly. How I choose to respond in a situation will certainly differ from how others respond. Once I started coming from a place of Love, responding with positive emotions toward myself and others, I stopped needing to prove others wrong. I stopped needing to be right, even if I had the facts on my side. I found debates with closed-minded people can quickly escalate into arguments over who is right. I stopped being offended by those who dare to go there. For my own self-care, I ignore it since I don't care. It's waste of my time and energy.


I pick my debates wisley now. Some people just want to disagree with me because they like to argue. Even when I give in, they are already looking for something else to disagree on. I found when I use restraint and do not feel a need to validate my beliefs, or disprove their "facts," I remain in a much better mood. I do not need to be right as much as I prefer to be at peace. There will always be people who disagree with us, no matter what our stance is. We don't always have to disagree with them in return. We can choose to keep the peace instead and let them have their "win." It's like giving our ego a coffee break. When I'm at peace, I feel like I won too. 😁



More Wellness!








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